Ginger Nuts

I’ve got the fear. The irrational, shrieking, flapping OH MY FREAKING SHIT I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO BEFORE CHRISTMAS fear. Ya know the one, yeahh, we all get it. Yep, even you, yes I’m talking to you with your lists of lists of lists and your “Oh I bought all my presents and cards and shizz back in January.” You’ve got the fear too, I can see it seaping and wafting from you like a bad smell. In no particular order, because I’m far too disorganised for that – this is what I have yet to do. Buy my OH at least ONE damn present. WHY ARE MEN SO IMPOSSIBLE TO BUY PRESENTS FOR? WHY, I IMPLORE. Wrap everything up. Send buy Christmas cards. Complete my vendetta against the assault of Christmas decorations falling from the ceiling and walls, the Duck Tape is failing me, it was so promising to begin with, next I’m dusting off the glue gun. Prepare food and freeze it, as Jamie Oliver goes on about, sticking huge tubs of grazy in the freezer and other such madness. Help Bean with his letter to Father Christmas, see some family, clean my entire house, make everything wonderful and jolly and festive, so on and…

No Time

Time has two settings in my life, I’ve noticed. It’s either brain-achingly, mind-numbingly, teeth-grindingly slow, as if the arms on the clock are struggling to move and are fighting through thick immoveable treacle and I gaze at the poxy thing on the wall wondering how the actual FUCK have I only been up for a few hours, when in my mind, it’s been DAYS.Surely? Generally, my thinking is like this when I’m in a low spell, I want the day to end and be back in bed before I’ve even got out of bed in the morning. Everything is too much. Everything is too daunting, too overwhelming, the absolute most basic tasks mutate into BIG. SCARY. SHIT. Or there’s just no time, it’s running out, there’s simply not enough minutes, I’m stranded in a state of flux, the list of things to do is ever-growing and fast becoming more and more fevered, the writing on the list more erratic and unintelligible. Multi-tasking just won’t do, prioritising is doing naff all and there is JUST NO FUCKING TIME. I keep telling myself all I want to do is paint my nails and read a few pages of my book, have a sodding bath if I gonna go all out and throw caution to the wind, but the actual…