Knocked Up

I knew I was pregnant before I did the test. Bloody knew it. From having to get up in the middle of the night for wees (for once not caused by late drinking seshes) to MUST. EAT. EVERYTHING. NOW. WITH. ADDED. CHEESE. compulsion. Of course the unprotected sex thing a few weeks before didn’t occur to me once as the catalyst.

I did a test. It was one of those standard one line = negatory, two lines = your Mothercare Membership Code will posted out to you shortly jobbies. After getting the pee off my hand, and sitting on the toilet lid looking pensive, I definitely had one line, and another very, very faint second line, “OK,” I thought, “I’m not going on a journey up north to Duffland, then.” Until a friend pointed out that even though it was faint, it still counted as a line nonetheless*. “Oh… OH! This is gonna get interesting.”

Unplanned pregnancy, you say? Young mum? Not in proper relationship with the father? OMGZ HOW CAN YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE?! I hear you hysterically shriek. My answer? Stuff happens. And that’s OK. Not everything works out to the grand Life Plan that girls my age seem to believe it will. Sorry to disappoint. Not for one nano second did I or do I think that my son was a mistake. He is a beautiful, life changing, life saving surprise.

Imagine the film Knocked Up, Katherine Heigel as a brunette, with a bigger bum, fewer neurotic siblings, with an additional side of commitment issues. Seth Rogan but less hairy and pathetic, and more tattoos. Pretty much sums it up, it all worked out in the end, and it’s OK that we did things a bit mixed up, I never liked conformity anyways.

Do you think plans are all they’re cracked up to be? Or do you like to see where life leads you? Answers on a postcard, pls. Or ya know, just that comments box down there will do, I guess.

* I still have that pregnancy test. That’s not creepy is it? You can still see the tiny faint line that (eventually) told me of Bean’s existence. Weird you say? Pffft.

13 comments Write a comment

  1. I kept my first PG test until I remembered it was a stick with wee on and if I kept mine that my kids would probably want to keep all the sticks they found with dog wee on them. They still keep the sticks with dog wee on just not in a box under their bed…

    • My first ever comment – Go you! Hahaha, indeed this is true, said stick with wee on it is hidden away in a pretty box under the bed. My son has never seen it, just in case he decides it’ll make a great accessory for his playmobil toys, like where all my stuff ends up!! Thank you so much for the comment xx

    • Aha, I’m not the only crazy woman then! I think it’s OK for us to admit, as long as we aren’t ferreting away any other body parts/fluids away under the guise of “Precious Memories”. Thank you for the comment, your badge is in the post x

  2. I may indeed still have mine from both pregnancies and your story sounds suprisingly familiar however minus the unprotected sex and add some contraception – same result! Luckily for us all worked out well and expected number 2 now! Looking forward to reading more x

    • Yayyy, I have uncovered a secret club of women that keep crazy / gross stuff! Welcome! Thank you so much for your lovely comment, there will indeed be more, don’t worry xx p.s *whispers* can I ask where you’re all coming from?! I went to bed with 15 views on my whole blog and wake up and it’s gone all batshit!

  3. I never kept mine but can still remember hubby having fallen asleep on the sofa (as usual) and I couldn’t wait any longer so did the test and then woke him up :) My Birthday present was the best knowing I had that little bundle on its way…now a pest but would change it for the world xxx

    • Abso-flipping-lutely wouldn’t change it for anything. Sounds hugely irresponsible I know, but I truly feel nothing better could have happened to me at the time to kick me into action. Nuts, eh? Thanks for the comment! Your prize of sweets will be with you within 8 – 12 weeks xxx

  4. I’ve also kept mine …… Plus the other four when i didn’t believe the first one was correct (cost me a fortune lol).

    I look at them with a smile now as they were the first step on a wonderful road that I never could have imagined.

    Four kids later, i now wonder what all the panic was about lolol

  5. I’ve only just found your blog and I love it, you are a very funny lady, funny ha ha not funny odd.
    Anyway, I too have the preggers test from when I was expecting my little stinky tinky, it’s in a box in the bathroom where I keep all my hair slides. It has got the end cap on so I don’t have 5 yr old wee contaminating the slides i put in my hair…honest :-)

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