He appeared at the classroom door, first in line, while his teacher signalled gently with her hand for the children to wait as she located the correct parents huddled in the biting cold of the playground. He spotted me. I could tell from over twenty feet away that we was brimming with excited energy, so much so he seemed to buzz and fizz with it.
Slowly, his teacher said something to him and took her hand away.
And he was off, like a greyhound from the traps. A blur of scuffed school shoes, wild blonde hair and MUMMYMUMMYMUMMY LOOK!
He crashed into me, a tirade of jumbled, breathless words fell from his mouth and it took me several moments to understand exactly what he was trying to tell me.
ST-STAR, BOOK BAG, STAR OF THE WEEK, MUMMY, LOOK IN MY BOOK BAG – I’M STAR OF THE WEEK!
I duly did as I was told, obvs, and had a look in his book bag, to find the class bear, Chestnut and a rather special looking certificate. Without properly seeing the words, I popped it all back into his bag for when we got home, gave him a kiss and told him how proud I was of him. By this point, he looked so happy he was going to burst.
Once we were home, muddy shoes were kicked off, coats reluctantly hung up, and leftover food from his lunch had been carefully disposed of. We all sat down together to have a proper read of his special certificate and talk about Chestnut the bear.
Oh I thought. Oh. And then I maybe cried a little and hugged Bean a bit too tight.
He flapped away his emotional mothership and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening showing Chestnut all his favourite things, playing with him, sharing his dinner with him while he told him our plans for the weekend, before finally curling tightly around him in bed and falling asleep, sighing contentedly as he dreamt.
I’m so proud. Sickeningly so. And beyond amazed, that against everything, all the bad stuff, the shaky starts and stumbles, the shit circumstances and the depression that cripples me in various ways every single day, that he’s happy.
Time and time again, I’m told what a lovely smile he has, how he’s always so pleased to see anyone and everyone, and how he’s so full of joy.
I hear the words, but I’ve never let myself believe them, completely convinced that I’ll eventually break him or that he was faking it because all this stuff was affecting him.
But now, I’m actually letting myself believe it’s true. And that’s a pretty special feeling.
Please feel free to add your linky in the dooby-doo below, pop the badge on your blog post if you fancy it and try to comment on the other posts linking up so we can spread the happy vibes far and wide! You can also have a nose about what the dealio is with all this Small Things business here.
<div align="center"><a href="http://mummyneversleeps.com/small-things/" title="All the Small Things - MummyNeverSleeps"><img src="http://mummyneversleeps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/SMALLsmallthings.jpg" alt="All the Small Things - MummyNeverSleeps" style="border:none;" /></a></div>