Christmas? And a meme? A Christmas bloody meme? Well, I say, let’s freakin’ DO this shit. I was tagged by the beautiful Sammy of MummyToAMonsterxo, and I’m more than a little excited. Fix up, look sharp, whack some tinsel in your hair, polish your baubles and stick on the Chrimbo tunes, it’s time to get FESTIVE.

What is your favourite thing about Christmas?

I think I’m a glutton for punishment, I reckon I sadistically enjoy the stress and panic of Christmas, the OH MY GIDDY AUNT I HAVEN’T GOT A TURKEY TRAY, I MUST GO TO EVERY. SINGLE. SHOP. OPEN. EVER. at 5pm on Christmas Eve to find one. I like that. I’m aware there must be something seriously wrong with me. I love with a capital L making memories for Bean and sharing the magic with him, seeing his eyes grow wide with awe at seeing Father Christmas, ya know, even the ones in the really rather rubbish costumes. I love the build up, the “Is it Christmas when I wake up, mummy?” every night when I put Bean to bed. The batshit crazy crescendo of the last few days before Christmas, the mania, and then, the sigh of relief on Christmas morning, when you’ve done it, everything’s done, everything’s bought and wrapped and fuck it, if you haven’t got a turkey tray by then, well, you have no choice but to barbecue the bastard, have ya?

Plus, there’s a freaky thing that happens where I live at Christmas, I live on the coast, and the local yacht club - don’t look at me like that, I’m not a bloody member - set up an EPIC Father Christmas sleigh on a trailer, it actually looks really good, the Santa on the back is great and has a microphone wishing MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the slack-jawed children looking out of their front doors, there are even giant reindeer and everything. They drive around when it gets dark, blasting out the Christmas songs, and his helpers go around collecting money for a local children’s charity. It’s bizarre, but utterly BRILLIANT.

What is your favourite make-up look for this season?

Winged eyeliner, shit tonne of mascara, red lips. As always. BUT, if I actually have time to put make-up on now, well, I’ve obvs forgotten to do something else. Like buying presents.

Real or fake tree?

This question makes me go a bit itchy. See, I’ve ALWAYS had a real tree, ALWAYS. But, the last few trees I’ve had, have turned brown and crispy a good week or two before Christmas day, no matter how much water I gave them. And frankly, 40 quid a pop, I can be doing without that. So this year, I gave in, I went fake, and actually, forgetting about the initial yucky taste I had in my mouth, I’m kind of liking it.

Giving or receiving presents?

Giving, gotta be giving, that’s what it’s all about isn’t it?

What’s your favourite Christmas film?

Home Alone, yes I know it has that creepy arsed Macaulay Culkin in it, but I enjoy it. While You Were Sleeping, not EXACTLY Christmassy, but still. Scrooged also. *nods*

What’s your favourite Christmas food?

Hahahaha. Oh. Ha. Wait. I have to choose? Seriously? Surely fucking all of it? Everything. But if I REALLY had to decide it’d be the cheese board. Wensleydale with cranberries. Brie. The whole bloody sha-bang. *rubs thighs*

There ya have it, Christmas Meme, DONE. Now, I shall tag spread the festive joy and frivolity to the following wonderful ladies:

It’s Misty, Seriously

Mummy To Little E & Bean

MS Mummy of Two

Clare Allen